Relationship & Life Coach
I'm Maggie Hollinbeck, and I'm dedicated to helping you create security in your most important relationships -- with yourself, and with your intimate partner.
"Security" in relationships doesn't always sound sexy. A lot of us are conditioned to look for "spark", "fire", "excitement" in our relationships. Our culture rewards risk-taking and getting out beyond our comfort zone. Going for "bold", "outrageous" goals. Hashtag living our best lives.
And those things can be wonderfully fulfilling -- but too often we have not established the anchoring and support necessary for those big leaps...so then we may balk, resist, sabotage, create "drama".
Guess what? Research shows that those who have the most secure anchor within themselves can go further in the direction of their dreams without stepping back. We're braver, more open-hearted, more willing to
move out of our comfort zone and into our growth zone.
And when we feel secure in our intimate relationships we can say the scary thing that's on our heart, because we know our partner won't just take off when hard conversations come up. We can grow and evolve, because our growth won't threaten the relationship. We can learn to attune to our partner's scared self as well as our own, and work through conflict knowing that no matter what, we have each other's back and we're tending to what's best for me, you, and us.
Over the last two decades I've devoted myself to understanding people and relationships better. I earned a Master's degree in psychology, where I first learned about attachment theory as it relates to the parent-child relationship. I worked for several years as a psychotherapist with children and their parents, but it wasn't until my own ten-year relationship blew up that I became very motivated to learn how to do relationships better -- starting with my relationship with myself. I studied the work of Margaret Paul, Brené Brown, Kristin Neff and others. As I learned to anchor into myself, I felt ready to re-enter an intimate relationship, but I wanted to do that better, too. That led me to the work of John & Julie Gottman, Jayson Gaddis, and eventually Stan Tatkin, who has brought attachment theory squarely into the realm of marriage and committed relationships.
Brené Brown has famously said that "we can only love others as much as we love ourselves," and I think it is very important to develop our capacity for self-love. Yet, Stan Tatkin has said that "we learn to love ourselves precisely because we have experienced being loved by someone" -- healthy relationships actually expand our capacity for loving self-acceptance.
I combine these viewpoints and coach from the both/and perspective. By creating a secure attachment within ourselves, we can create a secure attachment with our partner. Likewise, becoming more secure-functioning within our relationship allows us to build that secure base inside. This is the centerpiece of my work with couples and individuals.
I'm informed by my 20+ years of training and experience in psychology, psychotherapy, coaching, and personal growth & development. As a trauma-informed practitioner, I have a knack for getting at deeper issues that may be impacting your ability to communicate effectively during conflict, trust what you know to be true, or go after what you want most in your life.
I study and train with the best relationship teachers out there, and as a couples coach I favor the work of John & Julie Gottman, Jayson Gaddis, and Stan Tatkin.
Certified Deep Transformational Coach (Center for Transformational Coaching)
Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology (Antioch University, Los Angeles)
Certified Brainspotting Practitioner
Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work® Leader
Trained in Trauma-Sensitive HeartMath
Trained in Gottman Method, Level 1
Trained in Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT-CC)